We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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