My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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