So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
