I only kidnapped one of them. chill
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
