the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
