I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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