stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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