I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
