I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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