I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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