Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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