she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
