Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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