I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I need a beard to bite.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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