Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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