? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
