i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
where am i from again
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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