Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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