I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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