i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
