FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
