Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Be still, my beating vagina.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
