I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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