I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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