She said her name was "party"
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
