arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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