he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
