I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
