marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We have started to decorate penises.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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