is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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