Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
