Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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