Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
