Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
