you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
