guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
