i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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