Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
