this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
