I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
