yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
