I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
