Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
