He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He felt like a one man threesome
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize