i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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