I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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