Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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