Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
