Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
