You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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