ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
